Writer’s block: when you have so many thoughts, ideas, and emotions to express and no clue where to start or how to organize them.
Well, at least that’s my definition of writer’s block. I found I’ve been battling with that quite a bit over the past month or so. I started strong with my new blog and I had a lot of hopes for it, and I still do. My goal was to continuously be publishing new posts and new content. From the beginning, I had so many topics I wanted to talk about, as well as ideas and thoughts to share. I even wrote an outline of everything I’ve struggled with and had experience with that I wanted to cover. Instead, I find myself constantly thinking, “You should be writing.” That terrible word, should, I know better now than to think that way and how using certain words can trick your brain into thinking differently. For example: instead of using should, and feeling that heavy obligation of thinking I need to do something, and then kicking myself for not doing it, or even just the negative power should subconsciously has over my motivation. It somehow takes away all motivation I once had, or it takes away the ability to creatively think or be in the right headspace necessary to be productive at all. Instead, I replace the word should, with could. Then all of a sudden, I have a choice in the matter, and this heavy weight has been lifted. I don’t beat myself up for not doing it because I could do it rather than should. See the difference? The obligation fades and gives you back the control. I no longer feel worthless, lazy, or unproductive or feel like I need to put myself down for not doing something. I told myself while I was laying in bed, “You could continue laying here, tossing and turning, while random worrisome thoughts race through your mind, or you could get up and get them out while they are fresh on your mind. Lately, when my thoughts were racing or when I would get a creative ah-ha moment while lying in bed, listening to a podcast, or even reading someone else’s blog, more often than not, I would let it just pass me by. Sometimes I’d write some notes down for a different day, but it’s never the same trying to go back to it. So, I have all these different drafts I’ve been working on, and haven’t published even one yet. Mostly because they aren’t complete, and being the perfectionist I am, I only want to put my best and complete work out into the world. Perhaps my habit of procrastination has slowly led to this so called writer’s block. Maybe some of you other writers have struggled with this. What are your thoughts on the matter and how have you overcome writer’s block?
There were several times this week where something upsetting happened and I wanted to use writing to express myself to release the feelings that had been stirred up, whether I posted it or not. For whatever reason though, I couldn’t get the words to come or flow. I just sat here feeling frustrated, fuming, sad, hurt and lonely over various things that happened or words that were said. I was trying my best not to let these feelings and the accompanying thoughts get to me because I know all too well how that ends, and I’m doing my best to avoid a downward spiral to depressionville. That’s why I so desperately needed my creative and expressive outlet to be functioning properly. Through writing, I can somehow turn my past or even present hurts into something beautiful, that others can relate to, or even something that could inspire hope; writing also helps me organize my thoughts and simply make sense of them which helps cease the racing thoughts and anxieties of my mind.
So, how am I finally breaking my streak and getting words on the page? Well, it was 4:30 A.M. and my mind refused to slow down or turn off. I was tossing and turning and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I got out of bed and pulled out my computer. Instead of pulling up the numerous unfinished posts and staring at them like I had been doing, I opened a new one, and instead of trying to write about all the things I’ve been wanting to all this time, I just started writing about what’s actually going on in my mind at that moment, and finally, the words came. What a wonderful feeling that is!